Gladiator 2

Summary

❤️🏰⚓️⚓️⚓️🪜☠️⚓️🦍🦏☠️⚔️⚓️🏹🦈☠️🐒👂🗡️☠️🩺🏇👍⚔️☠️❤️🌾

👍👍👍

Ok – another summary

A very entertaining and solid movie. You have to ignore a few things and then it is quite enjoyable. Pretty traditional story line and structure but well executed. Solid acting. Matt Lucas was well cast. The title credits were done well. The last shot should not be there and the one before shortened. It’s long but never feels boring.

All in all also a better, actually more subtle (did I just write that) allegory for America today than the other recent “Roman” epic, Megalopolis. And seriously more entertaining. You will likely enjoy it.

The Armada

So the Romans attack the fortified city from the sea with an armada of ships. Big ships. Which must have quite some draught or they capsize (see what happened to the Swedish Vasa). These ships have been fitted to attack fortified sites. That must have involved some serious recce. How did they know the water was deep enough so they don’t get stuck half a mile out in the sea. That would have been a bit of a problem. Let’s just assume that tides are not to extreme. That would be even more interesting. Looked fine at recce but damn should have checked low-tide levels. Sorry General!

The Rhino

Let’s be frank here. You cannot ride a rhino. Nope. Even a champion gladiator. No way. Absolutely not.

But a useful lesson that goes further back in history than I had thought, and true: you cannot outrun a rhino. If you try the result will be more than just painful.

Those Sharks

We all know there are sharks, so this is not really a spoiler. But there are issues around this. Not the least of which is why the hell did they need this whole shark thing? It does not add much to the story, though it is amusing. I was waiting for the soundtrack to make reference to that of Jaws but alas that did not happen. Now …

A sea in the coliseum

How did they make the coliseum leak-proof? I just don’t get it. That must have been quite tricky. They were good at building, well, colossal structures (pun intended), but leak-proof on that scale?

How did they get the water to the coliseum. Yes, they had aqueductshowdoyouspellthesethingsanyway. Kind-of plumbing. But that may require more than what you install to flush bodily waste from the city of Rome.

Ships in the arena

How did they get in there? They seem too large. Unless they had an Ikea kit and assembled them overnight. But you know how long that can take. It can be a great cause for rage though which we learn can be a useful quality.

It’s sharks, not killer trouts

It’s sharks. They need seawater. In absence of industrial scale salination plants, I doubt they just added some teaspoons of salt to water they usually had in Rome. So they needed to get seawater from – yes – wait for it – the sea – and get it to Rome. Rome is not that far from the sea but still it’s a bit of a challenge.

And the sharks came by what transport?

Yes, how did the sharks get to the coliseum? And where are they kept? I assume you want to re-use them and not have them expire after one day of games considering the effort to get them there. And getting them out of the arena must be an unpopular job. Worse than trying to convince the rhino to leave I think.

On the next day

It’s games on consecutive days I think. And the next day the arena is nicely dry as before the sea battle. Well done. I could not stop picturing some poor slave pulling a huge plug to drain the water into the sewers. (remember you still get sharks around).

Medical Procedures.

It seemed at times that repeated attempts were made at experimental tracheotomy. That would explain the preference it seemed for putting a knives into throats. It looks nicely messy as well I admit. But sadly I have to report that no subject survived the procedure and it is good to know that today’s procedures are more subtle.

A similar statement can be made about the example of early earwax removal. One crucial point to make is not to go beyond the ear drum, and absolutely definitely not beyond middle- and inner-ear. The subject no longer will worry about earwax I admit.

Star Wars

Seriously, I was waiting for the line “Lucius, I am your (step-)father”

A Final Point

Ah yes, literally. A point is a point. Metal or wood. Keep that in mind.